I have always known that the work I do with my students is my life's passion. After all, I started StudyWise Tutoring so I could tutor and coach academically full-time. However, I realized last week that I am more enthusiastic about my work than ever before and that's pretty exciting "ish", as my lovely high school students would say.
Last week was my first ramped up work week since school ended in June. As a business owner, I'm always working. So, contrary to all of those "haters" (again, I learn amazing vocab from my pop culture professionals and consultants), I don't have the summer completely off! But, things have been pretty low key this summer in that I haven't been working with students, except for a few summer school kiddos. I have been busy hiring new contractors, networking, revising policies, taking an online class to renew my teaching license, and of course you can't forget the accounting. But, these are not the reasons I started my business. The kids and the families are why I do what I do.
So, last week I was fortunate enough to meet several new families and amazing kiddos that we will be tutoring this school year. I also awarded my first scholarship, a $3200 value, to tutor with me in August and the entire school year. The winner is an amazing young woman and I already know we will be connected for life! In addition, I had a "date" night with a fashionable and fancy student of mine who also doubles as my dog and house sitter when I'm out of town. It was fun to have girl time away from schoolwork and now that I think about it, I will need a new house and doggy sitter once she graduates in a year! Applications now being accepted. Lastly, I happily sipped coffee with a special student who will be attending U of O next year. I have missed him dearly and he made my life when he said to me, "You changed my life." In reality, these kids have changed my life, so I guess the appreciation is mutual.
The connections I made with students, new and old, this week immediately resulted in pure bliss and happiness. All of a sudden I had an inner energy that has been missing all summer. Now, I still am napping every day, because apparently the warm fuzzy feelings make me want to cuddle up for a nap still:) But, the happiness I feel from these students is amazing. The one problem with forming such strong bonds with some of my students is that eventually they fly on their own and leave the nest. I am a blubbering mess when I have to say goodbye to my seniors. As I write this I am actually tearing up because one of the most amazing students in my life will be moving to New York soon for college. This amazing person is pictured above. She is smart, talented, funny, beautiful, caring, and the strongest person I know. I gifted her with the necklace that was the inspiration for my blog and she is only the second girl to receive this special gift. Shea, with brave wings you will fly and without you in my life weekly, I will have to be brave too. I love you.
As some may know, I am working on a 60 day #couchpotatogetsfit summer challenge. I came across the above quote and the last part, "The time will pass anyway", has really been helping me make better choices.
Often times I have grand ideas that don't come to fruition and when the date I could have had these things accomplished by comes and goes, I feel pretty bad about myself. Speaking for my students I would say they feel the exact same way when they miss their schoolwork deadlines. The problem with this is that one "failure" can snowball into several other "failures" because we think we just don't have it in us to accomplish a difficult feat. It is a real challenge to talk oneself into turning things around. Stuck in a slump myself, the idea that I might as well make the best of the time that will pass anyway sounded pretty darn good for my summer theme. Although it has only been a week since I started my challenge and I've already experienced frustration, making me want to throw in the towel (a sweaty one at that), I reminded myself that giving up after one week is not an option. I would never tell my students to give up, so I'm not going to tell myself that either.
Often times our self-doubt, uneasiness about change, or fear of hard work gets in the way. We don't need to be perfect, so doing something is better than nothing and those little somethings will add up to a big something once the due date rolls around. It's going to take a lot longer than 60 days to get fit, but focusing on a small window of opportunity for a jump start has been helpful. I challenge everyone to make their own 60 day summer challenge and remind themselves along the way that the time will pass anyway, so might as well kick some booty along the way!
There is a lot of talk these days about GMO foods, but I find the engineering of human genes even more fascinating. Like most people, I am always looking to improve myself, but find that I am "stuck" in several areas and unable to change. Remembering back, I have always had certain personality traits that I have to say weren't (and still aren't) always easy to deal with. Sorry, mom, for all the tantrums. My mom was the Superwoman of mothers, but I still had daily outbursts, so can I blame it on genetics? Many scientific studies show that yes, I can....partly. But, does that let me off the hook? Absolutely not. While studies show that certain personality traits are genetic, obviously other factors, such as environment, family, life opportunities, etc. also play a large role, just maybe not to the extent genetics do.
I have seen first hand how medication can alter the brain and help control some unwanted and stressful personality traits, so I believe that how we act has a lot to do with the brain chemistry we are born with. Medication is a touchy subject, but for some, the benefits can definitely outweigh the risks in controlling behaviors otherwise uncontrollable. However, there is a limit to how much we can alter ourselves genetically, so it's important to also focus on changing environmental factors, habits, parenting styles, and ways of thinking and acting in order to make improvements. I've heard many parents say they don't think their kids can change, but that's simply not true. Are kids going to be exactly how parents want them to be? Absolutely not because they are unique and complex individuals, but improvement can be achieved with the right support system and consistency. Changing genetically set and habitual behaviors takes time, but I want more parents to realize transformation is possible so they don't give up so easily on their children. And because children learn behavior from parents as well, giving up sends kids the message that they cannot change! It's a double whammy situation that works against them.
So, let's stop expecting our children to be perfect and work with who they are so they can be the best individuals possible. What I would like parents to understand is that what may be easy for them, may be very difficult for their child and it's not necessarily their child's fault. And what works for one child cannot be expected to work for another. In the article Major Personality Study Finds that Traits are Mostly Inherited I (NY Times), Dr. Lykken, a psychologist in Minnesota, says, "The message for parents is not that it does not matter how they treat their children, but that it is a big mistake to treat all kids the same. To guide and shape a child you have to respect his individuality, adapt to it and cultivate those qualities that will help him in life." I could not have said it any better myself!
As the new year approaches, I am thinking about a New Year resolution for my students. Yes, I am making a resolution for them:) Aren't I sweet? After much thought, ironically, I want them to think more deeply. The one common trait among almost all my students is that they don't engage in their work, in that they want to just get it done and over with. While this is understandable (because let's face it, nobody wants to spend hours upon hours doing homework), the long term effects of this approach can be devastating. If students don't learn how to slow down, face challenges and figure out how to overcome struggles, they won't be prepared for their adult lives. Kids today want the easy way out and instant gratification, but unfortunately, they are in for a harsh reality later in life. It's our job as adults to encourage mindfulness, support their struggles when they face challenges and teach the importance of patience and practice. For more on this topic, click here to read from A necessary struggle: Deep practice and skill mastery from smartblogs.com.
12 Things High School Students with ADHD
Want Teachers to Know
As some of my students are mentally and emotionally flourishing this year, a few others are still struggling. One of my greatest hopes in working with teenage students is to increase their self-esteem and confidence. It breaks my heart when students feel down because of their ADHD and/or learning disabilities. I want to just shout to the world that life isn't about scoring an A on a multiple choice test or following the streamlined ways of our schools. Now, that doesn't mean they still shouldn't make an effort to do well in the system they are in, but they also shouldn't base their self-worth off of it. Our world is amazing, not because we are all the same, but because each and every one of us offers something unique. Just because a child doesn't excel in school, doesn't mean he/she won't be successful later in life. I actually think kids with ADHD and/or learning disabilities, with the right foundation, often become the movers and shakers of this world. Beyond helping them academically, we need to make a more concerted effort to support them mentally and emotionally. By doing so, they will feel less discouraged and more capable, automatically resulting in greater academic success. Here is a quick slide show about what kids with ADHD would like their teachers to know. These ideas also apply to parents, family, and friends. Please pass the info along to anyone involved in supporting a child with ADHD.
Let's face it. The first progress reports of the school year can be downright scary. Some even Halloween scary! Every year I receive a flurry of calls from parents panicking over their kids' poor progress reports. But, let's put a positive spin on the kiddos' poor performances. Every mistake made is progress if parents and students take time to calmly discuss what behaviors lead to their poor grades and what actions they can take to improve their performance. I love the quote above and have it hanging in my office because mistakes are learning moments and many parents don't see it this way. Because I am an academic coach to my students and not their parents, it's much easier for me to abide by the quote. Instead of getting upset at my students, I discuss the situation and ask the students what they learned from their experiences. So, instead of feeling bad and beating themselves up, they make a mental note to not repeat their blunders. I am always hopeful that my students will make better choices the next time around, resulting in greater school success, happier parents and a proud tutor!
Meshuga Wednesday?
It's the first official day of school and therefore it's Meshuga Wednesday! I feel like a chicken with my head cut off, especially after spending an amazing weekend with my cousins in LA. Transitioning into the school year can be tough, but spending time in a new place with family was just what I needed to start the new school year off on the right foot. It was so fun to let loose and live by the trip motto "YOLO". Every once in a while I would just shout it out and it felt so freeing! The other motto I came back with was from a piece of artwork I saw in Santa Monica that said, "Change Your Life". So simple, but so powerful! I reminded myself of this saying this morning and had a productive and positive start to my day. We also had a theme song that played on the radio pretty much every time we were in the car, which was Katy Perry's "Roar". Let us all be champions this school year and I wanna hear my students roar! Here's how the chorus goes and you can check out her live performance on the 2013 MTV VMA Awards here: Roar
CHORUS
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear my roar
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna hear me roar
Here are some pics my cuz put together of our trip! Thanks Allison. I love you. You can check out her awesome blog here: http://theprogressivepearl.squarespace.com. She's quite the amazing woman.
Parenting Practices: Communicating with your Teen
Parents and teens often express the difficultly of communicating with one another. From the teens perspective, they often feel a lack of trust from parents and are worried that sharing certain things will create a greater distrust. Therefore, teens often hold their thoughts and feelings in instead because they don't feel safe sharing them. Parents are often reactionary to what their teens say, but it is important to really listen and think about what they are saying through their perspective. Try setting aside regular one-on-one times with your teen where you can solely focus on issues they may need to talk about. By following the guidelines below, teens will be more willing to open up and talk (Communicating with Your Teen).
GUIDELINES FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
In order to solve family problems, it is important to be able to discuss them openly. Effective communication involves both listening and speaking. Good listeners show an interest in what the other person is saying. Consider the following guidelines, and how you might use them to improve your family communication skills.
1. Draw a mental picture of what the other person is saying.
Ask questions to help you complete the picture in your mind. This will let the other person know
that you are taking an interest in his or her topic.
2. Withhold advice unless you are asked to give it.
Hear the other person out. Do not interrupt or add your opinions until the speaker has finished. Your job is to listen with understanding, not make judgment calls. During this difficult transition of
your teen, it’s important that you do not try to “overparent.”
3. Be an active listener.
An active listener summarizes the speaker’s statements to check for understanding. Ask questions to keep the conversation moving. By asking for more details, you will help to stay focused on the
topic.
4. Learn something new from the speaker.
Take the role of the student, so that your adolescent becomes the teacher.
5. Stay focused on the other person.
Do not use this time to interrupt with one of your own stories.
6. Match the speaker’s emotional state, unless it is hostile.
You will help the speaker feel accepted if you match his or her mood. This also shows empathy, or
reassurance that you understand and can identify
with the speaker.
7. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Try to understand your adolescent’s perspective. This shows that you respect his or her point of
view, even though you may not agree with it.
8. Think before you speak.
You may want to count to ten before you respond. This will create an opportunity for you to compose
yourself and avoid a heated discussion.
9. Encourage the other person.
Even when discussing sensitive or emotionally charged topics, let your adolescent know that you
still care about him or her. Think of something you like about him or her.
10. Be pleasant.
Keep the conversation positive by talking about how you might want to solve the problem. Don’t
get entangled in past mistakes. Look for the positive side of the message. Staying positive will help keep the conversation productive and constructive. Try using these active listening skills with your
adolescent. After some practice, introduce your family to the idea of using effective communication skills.
Meshuga Monday: Preventing the Monday blues
So, this Monday post is two days late, but it's summer vacation, so can you blame me? As school year quickly approaches, I am reminded what a huge shift it always is to transition from very few, if any students, to a full schedule overnight. Although I have been working some on the business end of things, my summer is like a super long weekend. The anxiety I feel about returning to work reminds me of an extreme version of the Monday blues. However, I am super excited to get back to work and see all my students! So, I shouldn't be blue, right? This prompted me to research a little about the psychology behind the Monday blues that so many of us share.
I found out that Mondays actually aren't much different mood wise than Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Researchers found that it's the shift from the weekend to Monday that is difficult, not that Monday is especially annoying. In addition, we tend to remember the extremes, so transitioning into the monotony of the work week may seem even worse after a fun-filled weekend. I came up with a few tips to help transition into Mondays or whatever your "Monday" is. I'm going to attempt almost all of these things before my first day back at work and I can't wait! It's gonna be a good Monday!
Rewire your thinking! Mondays really aren't that bad:) Research can back that up!
Plan out Monday’s workload the Friday before
Relax Sunday night (candles, read, bake, etc.)
Leave yourself enough down time on the weekends/days off
Pack your work bag night before
Make a to do list
Play music in the morning
Give yourself some extra time in the morning
Aromatherapy shower
Eat a good breakfast
Plan something special on Monday after work so you have
something to look forward to
Take frequent small breaks
Dress especially nice on Mondays
Meshuga Monday: Get crackin'....literally!
Well, it's 5:00 pm and I'm just getting to my Meshuga Monday blog post. I had a little bit of a late start to my Monday, which isn't a surprise to those who know this sleeping beauty:) By 2:30 I was sluggishly out the door, but happily on my way to see Dr. Justin at Elevation Chiro and Rehab.
I started seeing Justin about 4 weeks ago for my chronic neck and back pain. Compared to the handful of chiropractors I've seen throughout the years, I am most impressed with Dr. J's approach. I instantly feel better after an adjustment, but as Justin says, I can get cracked all day long, but unless I do rehab exercises, I won't stay better. Justin believes in a more holistic approach to chiropractic treatment, so along with the usual snap crackle pop, I was assigned daily rehabilitation exercises and last week I even got to sport neon green Kinesio Tape. I think I have started a new fashion trend because I got a lot of comments! Justin has also done soft tissue massage on my brick-like muscles, as well as electrostim and heat treatments.
If you are hesitant about seeing a chiropractor, you can feel at ease with Dr. Justin. He just might make your meshuga Monday a little easier to deal with. Check out the video below for more information.
Meshuga Monday: The 10 minute rule
Coming back from the long holiday weekend has been rough. After taking four days off, I am feeling anxious and overwhelmed about what I need to get done. In other words, I definitely am feeling meshuga this Monday. Besides making a to do list, one thing that helps ease my mind is committing 10 minutes to a tedious and dreadful task. Set your timer and get to work! You will be surprised how fast that 10 minutes goes by and will most likely continue working (unless you are one of my high school students-then, you will most likely do the minimum and be done precisely in 10 minutes:) Love you guys!). My 10 minute task is usually anything accounting or paperwork related. I am happy to say I got both accounting and paperwork related tasks done already. Go me! Now it's your turn.
Dog Days: Keeping our doggy companions calm on the 4th
Happy 4th of July! I came across an article last night about a comfort dog who walked at a high school graduation (Comfort dog graduates) and had his photo featured in the yearbook along with his other "classmates". Dogs, and pets in general, are an important part of our lives and well-beings. For students who are differently abled, have anxiety/depression disorders or are just having a hormonal teenage day, pets can be a great comfort. Above is my "son" Bruce. A handful of my students have met Bruce and their eyes just light up with excitement and joy when they see him bounding toward them with wagging tail in tow. Bruce would be a great comfort dog if he himself didn't suffer from anxiety! Alone with his mommy he is a cuddler and very calm, but as soon as outsiders are added in, he just can't contain himself. So, for now, Bruce will serve as my personal companion dog and since he's a mommas boy, I think he's okay with that too. Let's give back to our beloved doggies this 4th by helping them deal with the firework stress. Here are a few quick tips: Keeping your dog calm on the 4th.
Welcome to another Meshuga (and hot) Monday! Everything seems a bit more tedious when it is sweltering out, so I'm in my air conditioned office hoping to get some work done this afternoon. Since I can't make it to the coffee shop today because of time constraints due to appointments, I am listening to coffitivity.com and focusatwill.com simultaneously. These science based websites increase creativity and focus. Coffitivity makes me feel like I'm out at a coffee shop with the ambient noise and Focus@will's acoustic accompaniment zens me out. These websites are particularly helpful for students and adults with ADHD. Check them out and let me know your thoughts. Happy productivity:)
Parenting Practices: Teens really do want to spend time with their parents
In a recent discussion with a friend, I realized just how little quality time parents spend with their teens in high school and college. As kids get older, I think it is a common misconception that they need less parenting or that they don't want to spend time with their parents. In turn, parents tend to give in to their kids' wishes for independence, but that quickly leads to a disconnected and unhappy family. Teens do need some independence and freedom, but that doesn't mean family time needs to go out the door. Here is an interesting article that I thought could serve as a reminder that even if they don't act like it, teens do want their parents undivided attention and time.
Welcome to the first Meshuga Monday post! For those of you who don't know, the word "Meshuga" is Yiddish for crazy. Since my students are on summer vacay, my Mondays probably won't be meshuga until we get closer to the school year. However, lots of people get the Sunday blues thinking about how crazy Monday will be, but taking some time to organize yourself can make Mondays a bit more tolerable.
The picture above is my Monday to do list and planner. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I like to make a separate to do list from my planner because I can write in detail what I need to do in order of priority. There is no "right" way to make a to do list. I like the good old fashioned hand written list, but there are lots of apps and tools for techy people as well. By taking time to plan, you will waste less time throughout the day and feel less stressed too! This follows my philosophy of taking time to save time. As you can see, I have gotten through #s 1-5 and am now on #6, my blog! (Well, I did skip a little accounting in #5, but I promise it will get done!). As soon as I post this I can cross another line off my to do list, while feeling more productive and positive about a not so meshuga Monday.
SW News: SW gets a facelift!
Welcome to the StudyWise Tutoring blog! In my week "off" since school ended I have launched my new website studywisetutoring.com and have been dabbling in starting this blog. Thanks, Jeff at Menzel Design menzeldesign.com for helping make my new website a reality. Jeff does an awesome job branding any type of business and as a foodie, he specializes in food package design. This is great for me as his office mate because the food companies often bring in samples of their products. Yum yum! As for the blog, I decided to wait until this summer to launch it because computer mumbo jumbo is a bit out of my comfort zone. But, now that my students are on summer vacay, I have more freedom to do my own homework. I am hoping to expand StudyWise next year and while I am a bit overwhelmed, I am ready to take on the challenge. I just have to remind myself that with brave wings, I can fly.
